SURGERY

Sam right after surgery. The picture is yellow because he had warming lights on him to help keep his body temperature even.

I don't think I slept at all the night before his surgery. I was so nervous, but yet anxious to get it overwith. His surgery was scheduled to start at around 7:00 a.m.. We arrived at the hospital at 6:20 and spent our time praying and telling Sam how much we loved him. At 7:10 they came and wheeled him out of the NICU, down the hall and through the doors to surgery. And just like that he was gone from our sight....it was a horrible feeling watching him disappear knowing that things may not go well. I was as prepared as I could be for a long day and was trusting God that he would take care of our son no matter what happened. Dr Rebeyka was the surgeon who was to operate on Sam. He was a gift from God to us. His ability to operate on such tiny little hearts and have such amazing results quite simply a miracle. I knew God was watching out for Sam and the fact that Sam had such a world reknowned cardiologist as his doctor was a huge blessing to us. The staff at the Stollery kept telling us that Sam couldn't be in better hands.....we knew he was and God had placed Sam in Dr Rebeyka's care for a reason.

The hours passed slowly.....I started to look for Dr Rebeyka at around 11:00 a.m. I was so worried and I kept trying to focus on positive things, but it was very hard. It seemed like an eternity and then finally at around 12:30 Dr Rebeyka came down the hall and sat down next to us. His first words were...it went well!! That is really all I heard......then he went on to explain that there were no surprises and he was able to close his chest. I was very thankful for this as often, because the heart is so swollen the chest can't be closed for a few days. Dr Rebeyeka did caution us that the next 48 hours were crucial to Sam's recovery. There were lots of post operation complications that could happen. Right then I wasn't focused on that.....I was just so thankful that Sam had survived surgery and things looked promising. My mom had arrived and I went to go and get her in t hospital lobby. I told her Sam had made it through surgery and that we were able to go and see him in about 30 minutes in recovery. I walked through the doors of the PICU and saw Sam for the first time......there were more tubes then baby, but he was alive and he had survived open-heart surgery. We sat with him for awhile and then went home to take a break at around 4:00 p.m. We went back up to the hospital to see Sam in the evening and his doctors were making their rounds. We spoke with them and they told us that he was doing very well. I went home that night and slept much better knowing that Sam was doing great.

It was September 1, 2000.....Sam was 8 days old when he had open-heart surgery. He was a fighter and his strength and will to survive came from God. As I laid my head down to sleep that night I felt confident and my faith had grown. Little did I know the rollercoaster ride that still was before me.......in the days to come my faith would be tested beyond anything I had ever experienced before.......but right then at that moment everything was right with the world....and I slept......

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE SURGERY

Rod holding Sam the day before surgery.....

Sam and his brothers the night before his surgery....this would be the last time I held him for awhile.


Sam spent his first week in the NICU just getting stronger and better. Always in the back of my mind was the open-heart surgery still to come. I was terrified and I was also trying to have faith that God was in control of this whole situation and no matter what happened Sam was in good hands. We fianlly got word that Sam's surgery was scheduled for Sept 1, 2000. I was excited and scared at the same time. I just wanted the surgery overwith and every day that went by was another day that I wasn't able to hold sam.
On August 30th one of Sam's doctors came by....Dr Burne and said Sam was very stable...this was music to my ears. He also said that the surgery likely wasn't going to happen untill the following monday. I was very upset and crying. The emmotional rollercoaster that you are on can be too much at times....this was one of those moments. Dr. Burne said he would push for friday, but it didn't look promising. Everyday that the surgery was postponed was another day spent in the hospital. A few days may not seem like much, but it is when you are living your days moment by moment. This was exhausting....running back and forth to the hospital, trying to be a mom at home and trying to be strong...and failing miserably. Having Sam's surgery postponed was like the last straw for me. I went home that night and collasped into a pudde of tears....Taylor saw me and he started to cry too. The seriousness of the situation overwelms me at times. I feel like I am in a bad dream....no a nightmare and I can't wake up. I want God to tell me that Sam is going to be alright and that he has just had a really rough start......if I had listened to my heart I would have heard that. I let my fear control me on this night and I was lost...or so I thought. Rod prayed with Taylor and me and I needed to cling to something.....that verse in the bible came to mind.....I knew you before you were born.....Jeremiah 1:5. I wanted sleep to come so I couldn't think anymore...eveything about this day depressed me. I cried out to God to help me believe.....faith and hope is what I needed......this day was a bad one....but the sun is always shining even when we can't see it.

The next morning Rod and I rushed to the hospital to find out if Sam's surgery was going to happen or not. I was able to hold him again....he looks perfect.....it was hard to believe that he was so messed up inside. Later that day they took us for a tour of the PICU....this is where Sam will be right after heart surgery. They wanted to prepare us for what we would be going through. This is where the really sick kids are. I was once again full of emmotion....there was a baby there who had just had heart surgery. His perfect little body was cut open and scarred...this was Sam's future and I lost it.
After lunch Dr Rebeyka (sam's heart surgeon) stopped by to let us know that the surgery was in fact postponed for 6 days because there are not enough beds. My heart sank and I wanted to yell at him..how can you do this..don't you know that's 6 more days that I can't hold him or take hime home ....instead my eyes welled up with tears and Dr Rebeyka walked away. I told Rod I can't do this anymore...I'm emmotionally spent. I had prayed the night before that his surgery would go ahead as planned...I beieved it.
A few minutes later Dr Rebeyka walked by us and put his hand on my shoulder and told us he would do the surgery first thing in the morning and that he couldn't stand to see a mother look at him like that. What an answer to prayer!!! The nurses later told us that the fact that Sam's surgery was scheduled to be his first one was a big deal. There was no way for it to get postponed.....a lot of times surgeries can be called off because of other things that happen during the day.
We were relieved and nervous at the same time. Sam's surgery was scheduled for Sept 1, 2000 at 7:15 a.m. We went home and brought everybody back to the hospital with us. My sister Jody and her husband Mike, my mom and of course our 3 boys. We took pictures and spent a lot of time praying over Sam and the doctors. I had a hard time leaving this night as I knew come morning everything would be different again. I fell asleep quickly, but woke up at around 3:00 a.m. and spent the rest of the night in prayer.......finally it was time to leave......