48 HOURS LATER....

All of Sam's doctors told us that the first 48 hours after surgery were the most crucial. If complications were going to happen it will be within that time frame. Sam's surgery was on September 1st so on September 3rd we decided that Sam's brothers could come for a visit since Sam had done so well. The doctors were very pleased with his progress and everything was moving along great. We thought we had made it through the worst and it was smooth sailing from this point forward. It was a sunday morning......Rod took the boys to church and I had called the hospital to check on Sam. They told me he was doing great and that visitors would be fine. Rod was going to bring the boys over after church. When I arrived at the hospital I was not prepared at all for what was happening. I walked in to a nightmare.....people were hovered around Sam.....a couple of doctors, his nurse, the respitory therapist and they were wheeling in an Echo machine. I was terrified and nobody was talking to me...they were all just working on Sam. One of the nurses grabbed me a chair and told me to sit and they would tell me what was going on when they had a moment. His blood pressure was through the roof his heart rate was way over 200 beats and he had a temperature. This was not a good day. I quickly called Rod and told him not to bring the boys and that he needed to get to the hospital quick. They were concerned he may go into heart failure and then they would have to crack open his chest again. I just sat there all alone frightened beyond words.....the doctors and nurses all tried to reassure me that everything was going to be alright, but how could they know that...they couldn't know that.....they weren't God. I was struggling and was having a hard time trusting that God knew what he was doing......people who are used to being in control often struggle in gving it up. I knew I had to because I was driving myself crazy with worry and making myself sick....not a good place to be.
Sam was lying there so helpless and he was fighting for his life.....this was so hard to watch. I just wanted him to not feel any pain and to be well. After a very long day and I mean long......it was hours before they had him stablized....and even then it wasn't what they would have liked, but he was out of immediate danger....they discovered a few things. He had a collasped lung which caused all sorts of things to happen inside of his tiny body and he had a blood infection which was life threatening and very scary. They had started him on several IV antibiotics becasue they were not 100% sure what kind of an infection he had.
As the hours went by Sam continued to stablize a little bit, but he was not out of the woods and it would be days before we saw any kind of dramatic improvement. Rod did go and get the boys for a quick visit as they were so disappointed that they didn't get to see him earlier....it's the moments that make lasting impressions and memories...I am glad they came it made me feel better to see them altogether.
We went home at around 10:30 p.m. that night. I was exhausted, but I knew I wouldn't sleep. I got up 3 times in the night and called the hospital for an update....each time he was fine and they told me to go to sleep. I never did......