WE NEEDED A MIRACLE

Sam in the oxygen tent before they transported him...this was the only picture I had of him.

Sam is a miracle, there is no doubt in my mind. He is a gift from God and I thank God everynight when I pray with Sam for the miracle of his life......before the miracle though, came the valley........

Once the nurses saw that Sam may be in trouble they wanted me to start pushing. I was only 8cm dialated, but this was not a concern for them. Just as I was beginning to push my doctor showed up and took over. On august 24, 2000 at 5:07 p.m. , Sam came into this world crying. He weighed 8lbs 3oz.....he was a big baby. At first everything appeared fine, but it was only minutes later when they realized something was very wrong. Sam would not pink-up......he turned blue and his cries turned to more like a moaning sound. The nurses knew immediately that something was very wrong and they rushed him to the nursery. I didn't even get a chance to see his face or touch him before they rushed him away. It seemed like hours before anybody came back into the room to let us know what was going on. When someone finally did come they informed us that our baby boy needed to be transported to a different hospital...they were not equipped to handle whatever was wrong with Sam. They wheeled me down to the nursery so I could see him before they left. When I got there, the pediatric doctor told me it was bad....really bad. They had done a chest x-ray and had ruled out lung problems, so they knew it was his heart. The doctor also told me that he might not make it. I burst into tears and I could not believe the situation we found ourselves in. Jody from the transport unit handed me a polaroid picture of our son and asked his name. I blurted out Sam......his name was supposed to be Josh, but Sam is what came out. I later found out that Samuel means Gift From God.....very appropriate. Jody was preparing me for Sam's death.....she flat out told us that his chances of surviving the ambulance ride are very slim. At this point I just needed some hope......I was so scared and so overwelmed with emmotion....it was very hard to think straight. I begged Rod to go with Sam....Rod didn't want to leave me because I was hemmoraging....this was the least of my worries. I wanted someone to hold Sam and be with him if he wasn't going to make it....I just wanted Sam to somehow know that he was loved. Rod was confident that in the end we were going to bring our son home, I wasn't so sure and at this point I needed God to reassure me that everything was going to be alright.

Rod called some good friends of ours to go and pick-up my mom so she could sit with me while Rod went to be with Sam. I cannot express how very bleak Sam's survival looked at this point. His oxygen levels were only at 30%.....the doctor's were very clear that they did not think that Sam would make it and to prepare for that. All I could do was pray and ask God for a miracle, but I also prayed that in the end, if he was just going to die anyway then please, before he has to suffer let him go.

The transport unit left with Sam and Rod followed them. My mom arrived and they settled us in a private room. I was not allowed to leave because I was bleeding too much. I argued with the staff about this and at one point I had them convinced to let me ride over in an ambulance. Just as I was about to leave I started to bleed really bad and they would not allow me to go. My mom and I sat in silence and I stared at the polaroid shot of Sam and then stared at the clock and waited for news. We sat and prayed. This would be the longest night of my life......I was hanging onto the hope that God would give us a miracle.